Unpacking Emotion Differentiation: Transforming Unpleasant Experience by Perceiving Distinctions in Negativity. Kashdan, T. B., Barrett, L. F., & McKnight, P. E. (2015). Current Directions in Psychological Science, 24(1), 10-16. 
  
A fitting complement to Marc’s webinar is this month’s scientific article on a key aspect of emotional skills - the ability to accurately label emotional experiences and to differentiate among these.

The article describes how people:

• high in differentiation use a wide range of adjectives to describe the experience and intensity of their emotions. They have the ability, for example, to label the nuance between being nervous, embarrassed or confused.
• low in differentiation, in contrast, use fewer adjectives to describe their feeling states. They might, for example, put various unpleasant feelings under the umbrella of “I feel bad” or “I’m stressed”.

A large body of research is accruing on the importance of emotion differentiation to wellbeing and goal attainment. The article cites studies showing that this skill has been associated with:

• Fewer maladaptive behaviors (e.g. excessive drinking) when stressed.
• Lower levels of aggressive retaliation.
• Higher levels of psychological health.

There are a few reasons why this emotion differentiation skill is key. First, accurate labeling of what one is feeling can provide vital information on potential courses of action. In this context, labeling becomes a critical precursor to the ability to manage emotions effectively. Second, the act of labelling emotions diffuses the intensity of the emotional experience itself. That is, accurate labeling actually reduces the level of emotional charge that the experience holds. Third, and related, the cognitive resources that are freed up through the clarity of what one is truly feeling can be directed to pursuing other goals and bringing oneself more fully to interactions as a leader, parent, or partner.  

Implications for Coaching

In sum, while it’s well recognized that that a client’s ability to manage emotions is critical to goal attainment, research shows that a key precursor to emotion management is the ability to be accurate and nuanced in describing the emotions that accompany a challenging or charged experience. Yet, often, both clinically and in coaching, people will devolve to the first word that comes to mind, “I’m stressed” or “I’m angry” is very broad brush-stroke. It reminds me a little of the Black Knight from the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail who cries “Tis but a scratch!” or “Nothing but a flesh wound!” every time he loses a limb. There is a world of difference between ‘stressed’ (a common label used by clients in executive coaching) and disappointed, embarrassed, frustrated, concerned and so on. Without an accurate label, it becomes difficult to truly make sense of the emotional impact of a situation or how to match strategies to it. 

From this perspective it can be useful as coaches to:

• Note when your client is using a stock-standard “I’m stressed” or “I’m busy” phrase to describe an experience that likely has a greater level of depth or variation than is being captured by that phrase.
• Try to encourage greater levels of emotion differentiation by clients, both about their own and others’ experiences. “You say that the team is angry with you. What else might they be feeling?” Depending on the context, it can be helpful to choose from emotions word lists. Here is an example.
• Recognize that not only is emotion differentiation a key aspect of goal attainment and well-being, but that studies with children and adults show it is learnable.